Rough Week

Rough Week

It was a rough week. I deserve this…

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Holding a Table

Holding a Table

In Japan, it is quite common to leave stuff at a table and it won’t likely get stolen.

Of course, there are thieves in Japan like anywhere else….but it’s less likely to have stuff stolen.

Also, people are nosy creatures so they will look at what is there, so I like to include a little English lesson. This is me giving back to the world…

How to Okonomiyaki

How to Okonomiyaki

I absolutely LOVE Okonomiyaki. It’s literal translation is “cook how you like”. It’s not lying to you. It’s usually described as a “savoury pancake” which sounds about as appetising as describing mushrooms as fungi. I would order mushrooms on pizza, but if I had to call it fungi, I would just have the soup.

Anyway, it’s base is like a batter, egg, and cabbage. Then you can add pretty much whatever you want. I usually have either pork or octopus and shrimp.

I found a cute little place that isn’t generally too crowded, and has okonomiyaki that you make yourself. Many have a problem with flipping it, and I usually do, but I had enough room to do it….so if you are curious, this is how you okonomiyaki the fuck out of lunch.

STEP 1. Heat the hot plate in front of you. It’s fucking hot, so don’t touch it.

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Step 2. Get your mix all raw and shit.

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Step 3. Start mixing it. It sounds so nasty when you are mixing it.

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Step 4. Oil the hotplate and use the spatulas to spread the oil around

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Step 5. Dump the mixture on the hot plate. Notice this pile looks a bit like….well….like a current (2017) political figure in office…..So, let’s make it look a bit less like a yellowing pile of disappointment into what this is supposed to be: okonomiyaki.

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Step 6. Flatten the mixture with the spatula.

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Step 7. Flip that shit. Like it’s time to vote!

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Step 8. Smother it in sauce…I think this may be bulldog brand sauce.

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Step 9. Mayonnaise. Not that Helman’s shit…..this is Japanese mayo which has little no nasty-ass preservatives.

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Step 10.  Sprinkle some green dried….uh….parsley? Seaweed? Dunno, but it is pretty and lightly flavours the okonomiyaki.

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Step 11. Dried bonito flakes. These are if you like a tiny bit of fishy flavour. When close to heat, they dance around.

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Step 12. Cut with spatula

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Step 13. Eat the fuck out of it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pizza in Japan

Pizza in Japan

I had bought a pizza from Dominos here in Japan. First, I should point out the variety of pizzas that they have. Ranging from “corn and mayo” to “seafood” to Kalbi beef.

I got the Kalbi beef. Medium.  First thing you should be aware of….Pizza is NOT cheap in Japan. This is the size of the medium using my hand as a measure. Either I have absurdly large hands or the pizza is in fact tiny. This tiny fucker below was about $30 USD.

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They did not screw me in amount of pizza….I was just REALLY fucking hungry….so I ate most of it. This is the next day when I remembered to take a picture.

Anyway, I think the best way to show you the size by holding one of these massive bad-boys in my hand:

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Tiny! Perfect for Trump’s hands.

I will say though, it was delicious. I had garlic added as well. I will try some of the other flavours too.

Getting my Engrish on

Getting my Engrish on

**if you are reading this on Facebook, please just go to the link of WordPress…I am peeling away from Facebook (except messenger) slowly and am updating largely through my blog. Comments welcome on the blog**

Alright….I went to Sunshine City on Saturday and found some simply AMAZING Engrish.

I seems hard to find these days, but here we go….

mysty woman

I was hoping for a sister store nearby called Saucy Bitch.

prego zero

I think we have found a really good Abortion Clinic name….rough and relax

I feel this is supposed to be a cigarette brand….

And for the mother of them all…..Golden shower

I need to say absolutely nothing about this. Other than I laughed out loud the whole time I was taking the picture. I think everyone knew…..Side note: I put this on Instagram and my own mother asked if I went in to have a lemonade……My mother wins the world.