Pizza in Japan

Pizza in Japan

I had bought a pizza from Dominos here in Japan. First, I should point out the variety of pizzas that they have. Ranging from “corn and mayo” to “seafood” to Kalbi beef.

I got the Kalbi beef. Medium.  First thing you should be aware of….Pizza is NOT cheap in Japan. This is the size of the medium using my hand as a measure. Either I have absurdly large hands or the pizza is in fact tiny. This tiny fucker below was about $30 USD.


They did not screw me in amount of pizza….I was just REALLY fucking hungry….so I ate most of it. This is the next day when I remembered to take a picture.

Anyway, I think the best way to show you the size by holding one of these massive bad-boys in my hand:


Tiny! Perfect for Trump’s hands.

I will say though, it was delicious. I had garlic added as well. I will try some of the other flavours too.

Getting my Engrish on

Getting my Engrish on

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Alright….I went to Sunshine City on Saturday and found some simply AMAZING Engrish.

I seems hard to find these days, but here we go….

mysty woman

I was hoping for a sister store nearby called Saucy Bitch.

prego zero

I think we have found a really good Abortion Clinic name….rough and relax

I feel this is supposed to be a cigarette brand….

And for the mother of them all…..Golden shower

I need to say absolutely nothing about this. Other than I laughed out loud the whole time I was taking the picture. I think everyone knew…..Side note: I put this on Instagram and my own mother asked if I went in to have a lemonade……My mother wins the world.

Classy Sign for a Classy Grocery Store

Classy Sign for a Classy Grocery Store

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So, I saw this before entering a grocery store escalator….


This image does 2 things for me…

  1. Makes me wonder what asshole went into a grocery store smoking….or with a pet. Because I assume it must have happened at least a couple times for a sign like this to be necessary.
  2. Makes me realise my dreams of being an artist is not dead.
Owl Cafe

Owl Cafe

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I have been in my new apartment less than a week (actually sleeping here), but yet it feels like months. I bought furniture last weekend and it will arrive on Thursday of this week. Then folks are coming over on Saturday to put it all together.  I have been trying to clean up any put away things I can put away as I am waiting for all my furniture to come. (not many pieces, just the necessities).

HOWEVER….each weekend, I would like to go somewhere or do something that is a bit outside my comfort zone. This could be going to a museum, into a restaurant I would not normally go into….or, visit the Owl Cafe.

I went here and at first felt a bit bad for the owls. However, when the owner took the owls out, it was CLEAR how much these owls loved her…..and loved being scratched on the face. She knew all the ins and outs of each of these owls and they adored her as much as she adored them.

So, here is how it goes….

  1. You order a drink (all drinks and instructions are in Japanese, so good luck, folks). I ordered a Mint Cocoa. It was fucking amazing. And she drew an owl on it.

owl coffee

2. Then you are asked if you want an owl that allows pets or an owl to just stare at you…. I chose an owl I can scratch.

She gave me this asshole:

Owl 1

He started at me like this pretty much the whole time if I did not pet him. He knows what he is doing. His name is Ko-somethingorother….. Let’s call him “Oh Dear God”.

ODG loves pets…


And he has big fucking claws.

3. You have an hour and you can ask to change birds if you want. So I asked for a change for the shit-n-giggles.

I got this bastard:


That’s right….I’m wearing a glove. He just looks like a grumpy little butthole, but he was one of those guys that when you pet their head they smile at you….smile not pictured.

Anyway, I showed ODG a picture on my phone of Nacho…..and this guy cocked his head back, and widened his eyes a little more….and looked at me like I offended him. That was about the time I said “I’d like to change birds, please”….

If you get the chance to go to an owl cafe, please do. I know, I know….but they are supposed to be free….I get it. However, some of them have been in captivity and are not able to go back out into the wild. These guys are very well taken care of and they love the owner as much as she loves them. Plus, they will let you know clearly if they want to be pet or not.




We have a store here called Donkihote. It is supposed to be for Don Quijote….but everyone here calls it Donki. I did not know the original meaning of it when it first came out in Mitaka about 20 years ago.

Needless to say, I now know.

History/Cultural Lesson FTW.

Anyway, this place used to sell just household crap, now it sells everything from cell phone holders to makeup, to candy, to kitchen cutting knives. It sells TV’s now too! It has some groceries, bags, books, medicine.

But you know what it doesn’t have?

Fucking forks and spoons. Every other goddamn thing on the planet…TV’s….Fucking TV’s, but not one damn fork or spoon….
Update: I found the spoons and forks. 

Moving into the new place

Moving into the new place

I left this morning to move into the new place…or at least start the process.  I will put up images of the apartment before all the crap in it. But here is a link to my instagram video of it.

The moving service helped me get registered with the local government office, so I don’t have to deal with that now.

Anyway, I got my stuff from the US delivered by one really old guy. Some of my clothing was not in boxes but still in the sealed bag I originally put them in. The gas guy came as well.

I had not been in the apartment even 3 hours when the NHK guy comes over. He asks how long I had lived there, and I told him less than 3 hours. He was surprised and asked if I have a TV. I showed him this:


And then challenged him to find one. He said he would come back some other time. *eye roll*

I thought my refrigerator and washing machine was going to come today, so I called Bic Camera, and asked for an English speaker, to which they had no one available. I went through and just worked up the confidence to just speak Japanese….and found out that I actually asked for delivery on Sunday. Perfect for me!!! I hope that Nitori delivers early tomorrow….goddamn, I don’t want to be there all day with nothing to do……other than clean.

Anyway, I was texting with a friend and stopped over by a building so I could text without having to concentrate on walking. I turned my back to the building that is just diagonal from my new apartment. As I was typing, I heard a tapping on the window. I thought it was some bratty kid trying to get my attention.

Turns out it was an owl. This guy:


We started at each other for a while.

I’ll see you tomorrow, little buddy.